What makes a man a true father?

There are many men to which we can ascribe the title of father.

They come into our lives in different ways.

There is our biological father. He remains so from our conception until either he or we die. Whether he remains active in our lives isn’t guaranteed.

For many reasons, he may sever the relationship, including divorce from our mother. However, this does not, nor should it necessarily preclude him from being a “true” father unless his presence in our lives presents physical, mental or psychological harm.

We may have a stepfather, a man that is married to our mother after the divorce of our parents or the death of our biological father. This man may assume the duties and legal responsibilities of our biological father, but his status as a “true” father to us is governed by our mutual interactions. He and we must realize that his job is not to replace our biological father.

Our mother may insist that we respect the man, but the honor of being called father can only be earned, in our eyes and hearts, by the establishment of a paternal bond.

Paternity may also be established between a man and us through adoption. In this case, the man assumes the responsibilities of fatherhood and, likely by this tremendous undertaking, is already on his way or has achieved true fatherhood.

Then there are those of which we say, “He has been like a father to me,” or, “He was a father to me after my own father died.”

These men have been accorded the acclaim of being bestowed the title of father, without the legal attachment. All men have the opportunity and should seek out a chance to become “like a father” beyond their immediate family.

So what makes a man a true father?

A father, with or without a mother present, has a responsibility to provide food, clothing, shelter, education and medical needs of a minor child, as well as aiding in his or her social development. He should provide an example of how to respect others and teach by his work ethic how to do things correctly in order to survive on one’s own.

He must guide the spiritual development of his children by living his faith, and teaching what he believes. He must make himself available in those times his child needs any type of support or a shoulder to cry on.

“Do the best you can at whatever you do” should be the charge he teaches to inspire his progeny to be successful and instruct them that whenever they fail, don’t look back, learn from their mistake, and keep moving forward.

But most of all, a true father, must not just do the above out of a sense of responsibility, but out of love. It has to be a heartfelt love, one that is shared, a love that comes from the depths of one’s soul, without limitation. It must be palpable by those on whom it is being gifted. It should mirror the love of God the Father who gave his only Son for us.

God, knowing the huge responsibility placed on fathers, has commanded all people to “Honor your father”; (Ex20:12) and, “In word and deed honor your father that his blessing may come upon you; for a father’s blessing gives a family firm roots” (Sir 3:8-9).

As we celebrate Father’s Day this Sunday, let’s be thankful for all the fathers and father figures who have graced our lives. Express our thanks in words and deeds to those who are still with us. Pray for those who have died and for those men who need direction in their lives to become the father that God intended them to be.

Happy Father’s Day!