DiEsha Dorsey of Boutte grew up feeling rejected and abandoned.
She said her mother, who left her in the care of her grandmother, never hugged her and paid little attention to her daughter.
Her mother married in 1981 and lived with her husband and three other children while Dorsey stayed in her grandmother’s care.
“That was still a question in the back of my head, like, why I can’t live with my mom,” Dorsey said.
Dorsey was almost 9 years old when her mother told her that her father was someone who lived in the neighborhood. But Dorsey wondered why he never approached her and never treated her like a daughter.
“I just know that I had a gut feeling something was not right,” Dorsey said. “Nothing added up.”
Dorsey lived for decades feeling confused about her family and her identity. But then, in 2021, a DNA test changed everything.
The test revealed that the man she believed was her father was not her biological parent.
“I literally shut down,” Dorsey, 47, said. “I shut down mentally, emotionally. I just cried. I just couldn’t believe it. That gave me a lot of answers for what I was looking for as a little girl and a grown woman.”
The AncestryDNA test revealed that her biological father was a man in Virginia. When she finally found a phone number for him, she told herself that one more rejection was not going to hurt.
She dialed the number.
Instead of rejection, she found acceptance and love.
Now, Dorsey has answers. Her father, Michael, told her he never knew about her. But if he had, things would have been different.
“It felt like, wow, somebody finally wanted to protect me,” Dorsey said.
Dorsey, who works as a behavioral health technician, flew to Virginia and met family she had never known. She has a half-sister, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews, uncles and other paternal relatives.
Her father, who was 62 at the time, hugged her.
“That was the first time a parent hugged me in 43 years,” Dorsey said. “Sometimes I gotta pinch myself. Is this really happening? I’m really somebody’s daughter after 43 years.”
After learning the truth, Dorsey started writing to process everything she was feeling. She published her memoir, “The Secret That Set Me Free,” on June 13, her grandmother’s birthday.
“Sometimes the secret meant to break you becomes the very thing that sets you free,” Dorsey writes in the memoir.
She hopes her story inspires others to embrace healing, resilience and authentic living. Her memoir is available for purchase on Amazon.
Dorsey said she feels blessed that she was able to find her father and family after years of questions, confusion and hurt.
“The good Lord turned it around for my good, and I’m forever grateful and thankful,” she said.
Research suggests unexpected family discoveries are not rare among consumer DNA-test users. One national survey found that 27 percent discovered previously unknown close relatives, while a large study found that 3 percent learned someone they believed was a biological parent was not.
Dorsey said she joined private online NPE, or “Not Parent Expected,” groups for people who have discovered unexpected biological relationships. She said some members learn they were conceived through affairs, while others discover they had been misled about their parentage.
“I’m one of the blessed ones because everybody doesn’t have a happy ending,” she said.
Each year, Dorsey travels to Virginia to visit her father in January for his birthday and again for Father’s Day in June. Members of her newly discovered family also call and FaceTime her regularly.
“I’m still adjusting to my dad being like, ‘Hey, sweetie,’ because nobody took that kind of time to be concerned about certain things,” she said.
For years, Dorsey felt out of place. She was a piece that didn’t fit in the family puzzle. Finding her paternal relatives gave her a new sense of recognition and belonging.
“I’m a carbon copy of my dad and my grandmother,” she said.