The holidays are a time for joy and connection, but they can also bring stress, grief and emotional strain.
Dr. Matthew Lagarde, a psychiatrist at St. Charles Parish Hospital, said he notices that shift every year among his patients and community members.
“As a psychiatrist, I definitely see more of the folks who not only have the normal stress, but where things tip over,” he said. “And that’s definitely more common right now.”
Lagarde explained that emotional challenges often rise during the holidays because this season tends to stir up memories, grief and complicated relationships.
“Holidays can bring up painful family dynamics and lost loved ones,” he said. “You often are remembering the most around the holidays when they’re absent. Some family dynamics or relationships are not great. And those can be very deep and personal.”
Lagarde said winter itself can influence mental health. Fewer daylight hours and colder weather can affect the brain’s natural rhythms and energy.
“There’s less light, you’re getting less sunlight to your eyes and to your brain,” he said. “That’s actually connected directly to depression.”
He said this link, often called seasonal affective disorder, is well-documented.
“Our mood is tied to our day–night cycle,” he said. “Getting sunlight early in the morning – it’s a powerful antidepressant. And there’s actually a treatment that we use for depression called light therapy.”
The pillars of mental health
Lagarde said maintaining mental health during the holidays starts with the pillars of mental health – sleep, exercise and self-care. Neglecting those areas tends to worsen emotional distress.
“If we’re not sleeping well, we’re not exercising and we’re not doing those things,” Lagarde said. “It’s pretty likely that we’re going to feel worse.”
Exercise, he said, is one of the most powerful tools people can use to protect their mental health, even when time feels limited.
“Exercise is actually just incredible for your mental health,” he said. “For moderate anxiety and moderate depression disorders, regular exercise is just as good or better than an antidepressant medication with none of the side effects.”
Even small steps make a difference, he added.
“Any amount of exercise or moving your body – that’s more than you were doing before – is still beneficial,” he said.
Lagarde knows carving out time isn’t easy, especially when schedules fill with events and responsibilities.
“But we’re worth it,” he said. “And it’s worth it to pencil ourselves in.”
When stress builds, Lagarde encourages people to take a moment to breathe – literally.
“Deep breathing unwinds the fight-or-flight response,” he said. “When you breathe fast and shallow, your body thinks you’re in danger. When you slow down and breathe deeply, your body tells your brain, ‘Hey, we must be safe.’”
He recommends a simple box breathing technique: inhale, hold, exhale, and pause for equal counts.
“It’s quick, and it really helps bring you back into the moment,” he said.
Keeping an eye on substance use
Lagarde said it’s important to stay mindful about alcohol or substance use, which often increases during holiday gatherings.
“I don’t think of any given substance as bad or evil on its own,” he said. “For one person, a couple of drinks help them unwind, and for another, it might make them feel more depressed or impulsive.”
He encouraged people to take an honest look at their habits.
“Look at your relationship with a substance,” he said. “Am I getting what I want out of this, or are there parts that aren’t playing out well in my life? If you’re drinking because you start to feel bad when you don’t, that’s physical dependence. And if you’re using substances to cope, that’s psychological dependence. It’s worth talking to a doctor about it.”
Checking in and setting boundaries
According to Lagarde, one of the most important skills during high-stress times is learning to recognize when your body and emotions are sending warning signs. Many people, he said, don’t realize how much stress they’re under until it catches up to them.
“It is normal to feel stressed out,” he said. “If you’ve got a lot on your plate, you’re doing a lot of face-to-face time with people, or you’re overworked – it’s hard.”
Lagarde said remembering that it’s okay to slow down can make the season healthier and more meaningful.
“We don’t have to do everything,” he said. “Each of us is a priority. It’s okay to have a boundary or to turn things down.”
He suggested slowing down and checking in throughout the day.
“Check in with yourself,” he said. “How’s my body feeling? Am I tensed up? Is my heart going fast? How am I feeling emotionally?”
He added that therapy can help people better understand their emotions and reactions.
“There’s this kind of skill in learning about our own emotional states,” he said. “So much of our experience is not immediately apparent or accessible to us.”
Lagarde said self-care looks different for everyone.
“It’s something reflective that’s neither work nor socializing,” he said. “It’s something that you’re doing for you because you enjoy it, and you find something restorative about it. For some people, it’s hobbies, art, journaling, a walk, or hanging out at the coffee shop.”
Checking in with others
Lagarde said connection and compassion are powerful.
“I think if you’re seeing that someone you love is having a hard time being there with them, doing things with them and creating a situation where they could feel comfortable confiding in you without judgment – that’s powerful stuff,” he said.
He said there is hope for people who are feeling down and depressed.
“If you find yourself not caring whether you live or die or having thoughts about death or suicide – it’s a terrible way to feel,” he said. “And I would say to those folks that it’s possible to feel better from that.”
He sees hope every day in his work with patients.
“I work with people every day who have suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts,” he said. “It is amazing seeing people get better.”