There have been times over the past two years when someone would ask Missie Durapau how she’s doing, and her answer would come with a moment of hesitation.
“Sometimes, I’d like to respond, ‘do you really want to know? How much time do you have?’” said Durapau.
A little more than two years ago, Durapau lost her son, Mason, who passed away following a tragic accident on Easter Sunday of 2024. The Bayou Gauche woman said that in many ways, the second year without Mason was even more difficult than the first.
One thing that’s helped her push onward and through it has been a support group for bereaved parents Durapau and her husband Marty began last year. August 30 will mark the one-year anniversary of the New Orleans chapter of While We’re Waiting Support Group for parents grieving the loss of a child of any age or how long ago the death occurred.
“It could be a month ago or 30 years ago,” said Durapau. “(The ministry that began While We’re Waiting) is based our of Arkansas but they’re nationwide now, and we started a local chapter.
The group has grown over the past year, with between seven and 13 parents attending each meeting.
“It’s big enough to hear several different perspectives but still small enough to be able to get to know each other and talk about our children,” said Durapau. “We’ve had some parents who have come every month, and some who have come once or twice. But we’re able to stay in touch.”
Durapau said it’s been helpful for her to be able to talk and share about her son. Likewise, it’s a place where she feels she, nor the other parents, have to “put on a mask.” The grief can come in waves, she said, and can crash in out of nowhere.
“It doesn’t have to be an anniversary or a special day. Sometimes, you just wake up and feel like, OK, today’s just going to be a hard grief day. And you grin and bear it,” said Durapau. “And (in the group), you don’t have to put on that mask.”
The group is Christian-based and each meeting includes a devotional, but Durapau stressed that this is a group for everyone – parents of any faith or no faith are welcome and nobody is pressured to participate religiously.
Durapau said there’s a unique understanding among bereaved parents, and they can know they need not worry about being judged because everyone understands the experience firsthand.
“It’s a special bond,” she said. “You’re never going to say anything where people are going to think, oh, they’re stuck … we’re never going to get over losing our child. We’re going to grieve our children until we die. There’s no timeline on grief. But this helps. It helps me learn how to carry the grief a little better.”
Registration or sign up for the group is not required. Meeting schedules are posted on whilewerewaiting.org and one may type in their zip code to find their local chapter. Those interested may also email Missie Durapau at madurapau216@gmail.com.
Durapau says other parents in the group serve as an inspiration for her.
“To see them getting through it, it makes me say, OK, I can get through it, too,” she said.
