The smell of popcorn filled the air as the lights dimmed and the first movie I’ve seen on the “big screen” in over a year started to roll.
My fiancé and I usually rent movies, but after a week stuck in the house with the flu I decided that he need interaction with the outside world - dinner and a movie seemed like a good idea - big mistake.
For starters, we were running late and when we finally made it into the building, the lights were already off and the movie previews had started.
After five minutes of stepping on the toes of those already seated, we decided to take two aisle seats in the front row.
It took a few minutes to adjust sitting that close to a floor to ceiling screen, but we didn’t have a choice.
It was almost time for the feature presentation and the chatter slowly subsided with everyone settling in.
The air conditioning system and the projector must have been in sync because as soon as the movie started an arctic blast blew from the vents.
And to make things worse, the man sitting next to me should have held up a sign that read, “Hi, I’m Joe and I’m going to hog the armrest - all night long!”
So, now I’m freezing and the guy next to me came close to elbowing me in the face each time he sipped his soda.
Then the real fun began - the popcorn wars.
Apparently, there were some teenagers sitting in the top row who got a kick out of bouncing popcorn off of everyone’s head.
I started to contemplate walking out, so I whispered my plan into my fiancé’s ear, but he convinced me to tough it out.
I tried to pay attention to what was happening in the movie, but couldn’t wait to jet out of there.
I began to fantasize about the probability of the “armrest hog” walking out behind me and the door swinging back into his face - it was time for me to go.
When we finally filed out of the theater, I came out frozen, smelling like butter and had a stiff neck from sitting so close.
I’ve decided that I will spend my movie nights in the comfort of my own home.
There I can curl up with a pillow and blanket on my comfy couch and pause the movie for bathroom breaks, and “armrest hogs” aren’t allowed.