1. A woman gives a beggar $1 and 32 cents. The woman is the beggar’s sister, but is not the woman’s brother. How come?
ANSWER: The beggar is her sister.
2. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? Why?
ANSWER: No, the man is dead.
3. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A bear walks by. What color is the bear. Why?
ANSWER: White. It’s in the South Pole.
4. How far can a dog run into the woods?
ANSWER: Halfway. Then he’s running out of the woods.
5. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 have died. How many are left?
6. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
ANSWER: None. Moses didn’t build the ark, Noah did.
7. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5 feet 10 inches tall. What does he weigh?
8. There once was a lady who really liked pink. In her cozy, little one-story house everything was pink. Even her dog. Her hair, her carpet - EVERYTHING. What color are her stairs.
ANSWER: She doesn’t have stairs.
9. There was an evergreen tree in the dark, ugly forest where ghosts, witches and Frankensteins lived. All of a sudden, a great gust of wind flew through the forest. Which way did the leaves on the tree fall?
ANSWER: It doesn’t have leaves, it has pine needles.
10. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
ANSWER: One hour.
If you’ve got a funny or riddle of your own to share, you can be our next Herald-Guide winner. All you have to do is submit your favorites to our weekly $5 Jokes and Riddles Contest.
Each week, Herald-Guide editors will choose the funniest joke or best riddle from all entries and award our cash prize.
But even if you don't win, you'll still get your name in the paper with an honorable mention.
Send your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org or post to: $5 Jokes and Riddles, P.O. Box 1199, Boutte, LA 70039